He is Not That Into You

Famous words, but do we really take them in.  They are so simple and yet it's so hard to comprehend their meaning and much more difficult to accept.  When we like someone, we feel that the feeling is reciprocal and at times it is, but is it with the same intensity or for the same purpose.

So many hearts would be spared if we could only keep those words in mind when we are trying to decipher if someone is responding to our feelings.  One friend told me a good way was to "listen to their actions and not their words."  This advice resounded with me and as painful as it was, it got me out of a relationship where the person was not really that into me, at least not in the way that I wanted, not in the way that his lips where saying he was.

It's hard to accept that someone you are so much into, is not really that into you, but if you take a step back and look at his actions you can see.  What are he saying?  Is he playing the cat and mouse game or are his words consitent with his actions?  If they are not, then you need to take a hard look at the relationship and make a choice: is this all you want in your life?  Or would you rather be in a relationship where you don't have to be guessing if he is in or not.

When a person is committed to the relationship you can feel it, it is a feeling of peace, calm, it is a feeling of strength and energy to pursue other interests. It is far from that feeling of angst you have when the person is not that committed and you feel like the relationship is taking all your energy, you never know what to expect, you don't know where you stand and you have to keep feeding the meter in order to get a response.

There is someone for you, but if you are spending time and energy with someone who is not really committed to you, there is no room for the right person to come into your life.

You have the right to a healthy, committed relationship.  You have the right to feel loved and cared for.  Believe this in your heart and don't settle for less.